Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
