Im at strip club and am horny
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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