Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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