so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
not ubering you a puppy
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
