I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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