I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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