we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
