If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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