Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
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