I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
me + whiskey = a bad person
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize