Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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