Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Let's paint friendship bongs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize