i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
