we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
So vagazzling was a success
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
