so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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