omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
