I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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