Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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