we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
