she woke up with a sticky ear
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
