Apparently you make a good broom.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
