is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
