they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
