I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
