So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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