She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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