So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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