If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
