I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
where are my eyebrows?
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