In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize