thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize
