I looked at my own cervix.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
