I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just found puke in my bra..
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
