they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize