i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize