just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
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I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
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I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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