The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize