Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
