So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize