i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
