Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.