Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra