super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
