there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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