I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
