If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Is it because I queefed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize