i don't plan on having that self control this summer
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
