And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You were trust falling into bushes
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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