I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
