a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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