once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
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he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
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I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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