My hand turned me down
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
