in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
